good morning happy Sunday guys absolutely chilly here um I've got the the French doors open wide letting some winter air in but it's very very chilly today so I can tell that I'm I mean I'm under the duvet at the moment in the four poster thank goodness for velvet velvet swags and velvet curtains the Laura Ashley dollies and I'm very very pleased to say that they do keep the heat in but I was just thinking there it's cold and there's no sun here today what I mean obviously is a bit of sun but um it hasn't got its happy Hat on at all and I was just thinking how wonderful it is to have the extra decoration of sorry Indian stories in pinks and blues and purples and gold which I just added to the four poster just to bring it up a little bit so it didn't quite look as a stately home dreary masculine as the the prospect that it you know I seem to be going down that road the thing with the Laura Ashley velvet I love it and I bought it it was vintage and it was from a very big old house but the colors are quite um 70s so they're sort of um oranges and Browns a beautiful pattern though it's not a nasty 70s passion I really don't like those but it you know you it has those slightly muted colors a slightly muted palette I would say and I just wanted to perk it up a little bit with some sarees um so I I bought four or actually I bought about 10. on eBay um now I expect you're wondering how am I going without spending any money I've been so good I've been much much better and you know what I did I closed down my eBay account specifically so that I would stop getting all those emails from them and they'd started sending me emails of things that I bought you know four years ago saying that the buyer was offering a discount or why don't you look at this and I was getting those every morning and I didn't realize but I was actually clicking on the the email you know clicking on the links and buying stuff or I didn't realize I was doing that it was such a grave temptation and this is the thing with temptation you don't know you're doing it it's like you know when you're um I mean I've lost about a stone and I had no idea I'd put on weight because it's it's incremental and Temptation I fear is incremental you don't suddenly go really do you from what I suppose you do you you could no I don't think you do you're not walking down the road and you never eat cake and then you suddenly see a beautiful sponge covered in glorious creams and what have you and think I'm gonna go and eat some of that you are already a cake eater I think and and you may you know have no cake for six months and then think oh I have a little bit and then you think oh I'm a cake eater now I'll have a bit more same with alcohol and and drugs and all these other things now talking of alcohol I went out on Friday and I absolutely spended time with mum and some other people at the club it was very nice and it felt like the old days and as I was getting we were getting up to leave and everyone would say oh come down tomorrow come down
tomorrow because Saturday is quite a busy day and they have stuff going on and apparently everyone goes down there on a Saturday afternoon so I said oh I might do I quite feel like that and then I got home and I thought oh that's you know I don't do two days in a row anymore and for lots of reasons you know I have many many reasons I I mostly do to work and the fact that I want to create at the moment and I'm two years into my Five-Year Plan of becoming a famous writer a famous music a famous musician um and drinking two days in a row is not going to help me do that but there are other reasons too like you know health reasons um I mean I only had a couple of brandies it was lovely really nice and I felt quite um quite Lucid when I got home um and because I'm on medication for uh pain and headaches and things like that it I can't really drink too much it just knocks me out and I did I went to bed very early I like that you sort of wake up without a hangover it's very nice you just haven't had too much to drink and you haven't you've slept very well because of all your various you know prescribed meds and it's it's great you're good to go so actually yesterday I got absolutely tons done now I wrote a track now the thing with being known or having your music consumed because that's what I want I want music to be consumed and and that means having having it stream for whatever purpose and I'm obviously get well not obviously but I'll tell you now I'm giving up with the writing of a pop song I I don't have it in me I've been trying to write banal lyrics and they're not coming I just go off into a sort of deep uh somewhat morose tangent and that's my that's what I write about I can't I'm not a a happy person in love with somebody at 18 and you know feeling the joys of spring through my loins it I'm just not you know I did I can't remember any of it or the bit I did remember it maybe was okay for one song but I don't have you need a lot of ammunition you need a lot of ammunition to write this stuff and you it needs to change daily you know you need to fall in love all the time you need to see that guy you fancy done done the pub all the time or or you need to go to festivals you know you need to you need to um stoke the furnace of desire and passion I believe to write pop songs um and of course we know that not all pop songs are about love and sex but quite often they are and I was trying too hard to write love and sex songs so I've sort of given up with that and today I'm just going to get right back to you know morose cello about brains being taken over by um technology all the other things I worry about death and stuff like that much more much easier for me but not pop song material um so anyway I was thinking about the consumption of music and how yes I do want to be well known for my music or should I say it's not even well known it's well appreciated I think there's a big difference I want great job satisfaction I want to know that my music is consumed by lots of people for good reasons interesting reasons and the wonderful thing about technology what it's given us today is streaming so you can stream songs and you can go to lots and lots of different sites and you can create your playlist and stream your songs and my songs are on hundreds of playlists uh sorry um streaming sites all over the world my distributor makes sure um that every time a new radio show comes up or a new podcast streaming thing or whatever whatever I'm on it before it's the day that you know that's created I'm I'm there which is really really good but I want to be appreciated and consumed I don't I'm not worried about being famous per se although it'd be quite nice but not my face as such I'd really like Telltale Club to be famous and I think this is the difference I want my Orchestra to be famous and I want to be part of that Journey but I also want the music to be consumed because being consumed is it means you're having an effect you're doing something and in this day and age music is consumed in in lots and lots of different ways so yesterday I did a bit of a fitness song I've already done one Fitness song which was dirty Disco which I imagined as I was creating the music as I was writing it I imagined somebody was working out to it um not too fast probably myself you know a gentle sort of aerobic class well I did run yesterday and I upped the speed guys I upped it to 130. I thought no this is going to be a bit more um trance you know a little bit faster um and I I was sort of imagining that I was weight training well not not exactly well reps you know when you do reps I don't know if you know but reps are the repeats you know so so imagine you've got a little dumbbell in your arm and you're bringing it up up up up um to your shoulder you know it's kind of that pace but you have to be quite aerobic about it and quite fast so um I found a song I quite liked um about drinking rum probably no accident that I've been drinking brandy the day before it's probably all in my subconscious there um so I we're singing that and um it's quite fun it's quite fun but it is very repetitive because I was thinking about reps you know I was thinking about repeat repeat and I was and then I imagined because I when I lived in Brighton I always had a best mate who was gay and I loved going to the gay bars because you know men would not manhandle you and you could just have a little bit of fun dancing and really you know get really drunk and just get into the zone and there was nothing predatory when when you're a girl and you go to a boys gay gay bar and there are many in Brighton no you don't get bothered like that they want to come and talk to you because you look interesting almost you know I used to have this look that was a very drag queen and based it completely on drag queens you know think um RuPaul is to wear this huge blonde wig and lots of makeup and and Slinky mini dresses and high heels and that was my look back in those days and I loved it it was very of course it stopped working once you get past 50 it doesn't quite I don't know maybe that was me but certainly by the time I was 55 I thought I can't look like this anymore because I look I looked like an aging drag queen and it was before I had any had any augmentation and I'd I could tell that it wasn't you know working it was you're locked in the past I think of quite a lot of over 60 Euros are locked in the past and for that for us that would mean maybe 80s style or possibly 90s do you see what I mean and we we seem to when we get older hold on to what we thought were our best years so you quite often see very elderly ladies in supermarkets in Brighton for example with six 1960s makeup on because oh maybe not now but I don't know my mum's 80. and she was a 60s babe but mum's moved with the times you see because she got me to tell her I'm always telling her no don't wear that mummy look that's bloody awful poor woman poor woman but um she's very modern with her makeup so she and she's quite experimental which is nice okay now here comes Romeo I'll tell you about Romeo in a minute if I remember so um I'd written I wrote this song and I was as I was editing it so it takes quite a few hours a good few hours to edit and I was just imagining sort of hot sweaty um gay men with beautiful bodies dancing in in Legends which is a club in Brighton and sort of you know this really thumping music about Sailors so it's quite good um but there's a problem with me uploading it which is because it's in a different computer so one of these days I will get all my tracks here on my iPad and I'll I'll be able to let you listen to them so anyway that was yesterday's release um what else today I'm I am going to write some music and as I said I'm not interested in doing the bloody pop song stuff I don't want to be Ed Sheeran um I can I heard the Ed Sheeran can bang out five songs in an afternoon and I can probably do that as well but you know they will all sound the same and it's quite hard for me to move on from a tune so for example my song minor Masha which is my favorite if I've got that in my head if I've been listening to it I'll write another version of it so I've got to be a bit careful about that so what I'm going to do today I've written a book called immersion which is um on the blog actually Telltale Club blog um but it's being updated now I'm into the second edit so I've done the first edit you can read it and now I'm going to start the second edit and I find writing songs for each chapter the the best way for me to be inspired because I really I love my characters so I can give the people in this song real characters it's a bit like a musical so I'm going to look at that this afternoon and I'll let you know what I come up with but listen I was using my AI yesterday and I made some really beautiful artwork can you hear Romeo eating his breakfast in the background and the the version 4 for mid-journey has excelled really in not in terms of ideas but in terms of how it produces realism but it still can't do hands and it still can't get eyes quite right the eyes are always a bit wrong they look they look dead inside and they look inhuman so I have to redo the eyes completely just redraw them and I usually have to do something with the lips and quite often with the nose but it's getting much better but the problem is it's creating something that is stylistically very much AI so you can really tell um but I did manage to get a few pieces of Art and then I took them into my iPad and I was up you know I was quite late doing them but I I made two or three spot on images I really really like them and I think I can't remember the word I put in but anyway I quite like playing with my Ai and I I'm interested to know what the machine does with um I wouldn't well a prompt yes I'm not sure if they're if prompt is I guess it's the right word in a technological way but I think it's very revealing on the mirror of society when you when you put that into an AI so I put in greed very late last night I thought I wonder what I'll think of that um and it was just appalling I mean it came up with really well-drawn aliens I thought I don't I don't want but they had an idea of an alien which is based purely on sort of Dungeons and Dragons and gaming and um Star Trek and and my aliens in my mind are very different to that so it wasn't really any good for that and I don't use my AI with loads of instructions I can't be bothered and most people I say you know they're giving whole paragraphs of instruction to the AI to try and get what they want in their head but I sort of do it the other way around hello come on then there we go over the mic as usual I do it the other way around I I give it I give the the machine and I what I think might be an idea and I don't know what I want out of it the other side so I'm just waiting for the machine's idea and then when it comes up with something that I I find quite interesting I can work with that and change anything that I need to or run with it you know say okay I quite like this make me a few more of these let's make some different versions do you see so um I don't know what about this um greed thing I really want to sort of manifest it today but I'm going to go and have a look at the next chapter of immersion and get some inspiration for today's art and today's song because Sunday is a very creative day for me I quite like Sundays now let me tell you about Romeo so Romeo and I have re-bonded can you hear him purring bless him we've rebonded because I force him now to be groomed and he goes into some sort of state if I force him you see if I just if I leave him sitting there and I just come with the brush now he's cleaning himself I'm actually grooming him as well but I read you see miromi and I were getting on badly we weren't um as one and I was feeling like he was the enemy but I read that grooming is a bonding experience for owner and Cat so I thought right I need to get this sorted because if he was starting to feel like a husband I didn't want so I'm now what I do is I pick him up once a day I pick him up and I lay him on his back in my arms like a real baby and then I get my big hair brush I'm going to have to buy another hairbrush now because I don't want to use his and um I brush him all down his tummy and he goes into this sort of weird state of ecstasy and the thing is he wasn't grooming himself at all he wasn't doing it very well but now I'm sitting here because he's he's learned that grooming is lovely and fun and I'm here scratching his hind legs not too low down because he'll bite me but you know near his back and he's he's grooming himself which is lovely because he was turning into some sort of stinky [ __ ] and I really didn't know what to do with him so I'm quite pleased we've we've rebonded and it also you know when you stroke somebody or or scratch their rump um it does indeed create some Bond also with me as as the scratcher say I don't know if it would work for men I know that's what you're all thinking I I know you're thinking that but to perhaps try it just sit there and scratch their rump and and see what occurs I mean I've got a good idea what would occur um but anyway that's for another episode so there we go that's my updates and um I do promise to dig out the songs and and play them over the over the coming days because last I think I've written about 12. in the last 12 days we're doing one a day and they're all out there but of course they take a while to be uh to come up live online but do you know what the best way is to go to YouTube and put in Telltale club and then as a topic don't go to my channels actually go to albums and singles and then you can add those to your own sort of playlist or what have you and you'll be able to listen to all my songs um or I say I don't have iTunes so I don't really know how Apple does it I don't really understand how it works although I did find it yesterday so you can go and find all these things but you know I've got about 60 releases and I'm only just making inroads it's taken a very long time um so I might write some music today that's a little bit more thought-provoking rather than for keep fit or dance routines or you know most of my music is has a sort of filmic energy so I feel in the mood for that I was thinking about um happiness and leaping into it that's what I was thinking about this morning I mean I usually wake up thinking about a song so there we go um Telltale Club that's all that's all I need to say to you Telltale Club
