hello listeners welcome to Royal Clarence Marina I'm feeling so much better today after three days of rest because of the IBS but I'm sort of cured I sort of I'm coming out the other end of it the other side um still a few Rumblings in what you'll know if you're an IBS sufferer is that it doesn't end quickly you have to sort of see through a few things but you know what I make it worse I think by obviously you get your your in discomfort so you you get very stressed and then if you're anything like me you start drinking more coffee some people I imagine start drinking liquor um with me it's coffee it's an absolute curse and then that just aggravates because I have too much now they they say that you can have four cups a day and it's really good for you but when I'm in the throes of discomfort either emotionally or physically I can I can easily you know Notch that up to 10. um so today I've only had two thus far we're approaching lunch it's 11 38 here at uh in the United Kingdom and I'm trying desperately to stick to that four a day so I'll let you know how I get on it's really important not to overdo things but you know anxiety it's a curse isn't it it is a modern day curse now what I did yesterday is I slim lined all my output so I was deleting I deleted my eBay account something I've never done before I actually deleted it because there was a horrible man on there who was very very a troll I had a troll who was telling me that I was a drama queen publicly he was doing it on the feedback and all of these other you know really horrible things and he'd bought my art and then just became a completely intolerable and sometimes I think you just need to walk away so I just closed it down I thought I don't need that in my life you know I'm a serious musician I'm I don't need to piddle about with bloody eBay so I deleted it in my account and I feel I feel so much clearer of mind today because I deleted that and I deleted Instagram and some other things that really were just occupying so much time in the day now I heard recently that they've done research on what it is that makes people addicted to scrolling and you know look you know all these websites are you just you're scrolling up and it just makes perfect sense now it's the anticipation so it's not what you get it's the um anticipation of what you think you could get do you see now that's like doing drugs because I know for a fact from my previous studies on um addictions I was a therapist you know and my previous um research Etc people often with drugs the first time they take the drug they are on this absolute high but it's never like that again but hankering after that similar high is what keeps them trying do you see and this it's the same with the internet and the scrolling the anticipation we love anticipation it makes perfect sense doesn't it you know sometimes when when you're having a date it's the anticipation that's so much nicer in the actuality and then some you know with a sexual relationship I was actually a sex therapist you may know um it's the anticipation that's why you should never rush that bit you see you should always make that bit the longest part um and of course looking through the internet when you when you read something it's a very exciting title you know headline of 50 fabulous pictures number 49 you won't believe it the amount of times I've clicked on that and I know I know it's a lie and you can't get to number 49 because there are so many adverts that by the by by the time you get to about six you're just screaming you know but you've done six already do you see so anyway I feel so much better today because I've got rid of things and I also closed down one of my YouTube accounts and I'm I'll be moving everything to just Telltale Club that's you know Telltale club's my band Telltale Club is my website and it it feels so much nicer today because I haven't woken up and thought oh I've got you know I've got to upload such and such to 20 different bloody um sites and being in business these days is a very very hard thing your sort of processed to but as a consumer yourself business to business cons is consumption you know and all these websites that um sellers you must have this you must have this you must have a website you must have an Instagram you must have a um what's it called uh oh I can't think of the name of it Twitter and Tick Tock LinkedIn that's the one you know you've got to have all these things otherwise your business will definitely fail um and you know you've got to have a Google presence a big Google presence which I've stupidly I've been working towards that for the for a decade or something and actually it hasn't made me happy at all it's made me bloody miserable so today I just think all right all I have to do today is is make music actually so I'll be doing music shortly and uploading that every day and when I don't want to make music of a day uh you know the thing with being a musician or being anything that's skillful you can take a day off because you've learned your skills that's not to say you can't you know keep them going you can't perfect them or you know we're always on a sort of learning curve a mission but you get to a certain point after with music apparently it's ten thousand hours when you've played your instrument for ten thousand hours you become really a proficient I should say proficient at it um and the thing with working with electronic music um the proficiency is actually not as uh required because technology has taken so much of the work over for me so I have to be careful that actually I'm getting just as much pleasure because there's no pleasure in sitting here pressing buttons let me tell you so I've committed myself to in the new year joining Soho house now if you're I think Soho house has places and quite a few American towns I think this is California or Los Angeles there's one and New York and I've been to the Berlin one and I've been to the one in London in SoHo and I'm going to join because there is one in Brighton so my daughters live in Brighton and my grandkids so I thought you know what once a month I'm just going to go up to say her house and I'm also I'm going to insist to my lazy self because I have a lazy self I have a self that gets chilly in winter when it goes out and I thought no I need to dominate to my lazy self my energized self needs to dominate my lazy self and get on a bloody train and go and see people and do stuff you know do interesting things and going to Brighton I don't I lived there for a very long time and it has a lot of really beautiful qualities it's the gay capital of um you know the UK really I think Edinburgh might be a close uh Contender actually for that and it's um it's by the Sea and it's very very liberal and there are more people there who identify as spiritual than anywhere else in the country and I love all that but I didn't like living there because there's a lot of vice and me and vice have a long long complex relationship that really um didn't stand the test of time and a never decreasing circle of misery I'll write a book one day and it will make all the vice worth it do you see that's uh it's all fodder for the writer anyway because my grandkids lived there and I thought well no I I need to see more of them you know I'm going to die before they are and I need to imprint the memory of myself upon them I really do so I'm going to insist to my lazy self that I get on a train and we can get a cheap Rail ticket here they're um they give you like a third off or something I mean they're not brilliant but you know you it really brings it down to an affordable amount getting on a train and it's really important while I'm doing this not buying anything that I I have to buy a train ticket I mean these things are essential for the mental state for the mind I am absolutely not going to stay in this four poster any longer than I'd done for the last uh three days because it's been misery honestly so admittedly I've been in pain so I'm going to also join um there's a hotel Hilton there's a Hilton hotel in Brighton and the reason I'm going there is because they have a little spa and a little pool and I've been there before and the pool's lovely now I'm covered in tattoos and I don't I feel quite personally protective over my tattoos I don't want everybody else to be looking at them because when you've got tattoos men stare they go up they're obsessed with gulping and looking at them and I don't like that I I love my tattoos but they're in a way they're fairly private so I want to go to a private pool and unfortunately there isn't one here at the penthouse um I'm lucky if I can get in the bath with all this energy crisis going on but I love water and I love a little swim I love the way that water allows us to separate ourselves from the ground you know when people are depressed there's a concept that one of the first signs of depression is feeling as if you're not connected to the ground and I agree with that definitely but also sometimes you don't want to be pretty connected to it you know you actually it could be that this is a human method of avoiding harm and hurt to our psyche our subconsciousness so we separate ourselves um ourselves and create a sense that we're looking down and we're not involved it could be that that's actually something that we do on purpose as a protection but it is one of the first signs of depression um however I think when you are very anxious or very stressed when you lie in water and you let everything go and you just Bob along you know literally like a sort of dead wet fish you you trans you transcend Darlings you transcend somewhere and it feels so relaxing and you can close your eyes and just um obviously you've got a stair float so you don't want to drown you just move your hands a little and and maybe your feet but but that sense of weightlessness so therapeutic it really is so that once a month I'm going to go I'm going to have lunch with my daughters at Soho house and then I'm going to go and have a swim and some treatment in the spa go to the bar afterwards have a cocktail and then jump back on my train and come back to the marina and I'm absolutely so looking forward to that and look if you happen to amble through Brighton and it's on my visiting day we you know we can hook up it would be Charming wouldn't it I quite like showing tourists around Brighton I mean I wouldn't take you on all the tours or anything like that we'd go to a bar obviously
um and I talk about I'd say look there's the pier because Soho House and the Hilton Hotel are right opposite um the ones the old pair which is a very creative looking thing that's had a fire and things like that um and the other ones the working pair where people go to to you know to go on the rides and things um but also the sea and I'd I'd point and I'd show you where France is 26 miles away um I don't think I've ever seen it even on a clear day although I I may have actually um but it has to be very clear but uh that may be a lie I may be thinking of the Isle of Wight which you can see quite easily from my house so um anyway I'm can you tell in my voice I'm feeling a bit more um upbeat today a little bit more spring-like and things so I have released a Christmas album my single Christmas which I released yesterday I've the the Publishers my people who collect my um royalties have messaged and said I can't rename it has to be exactly the same so I've created an album instead called Christmas which has that song on it which was the Christmas song called tears and the Old Lang Syne song which is utterly beautiful so I've put them on an album called Christmas um and I'm not going to play that for you at the moment I'm going to wait till my royalties are being collected and then I'll play it for you so there we go guys absolutely Splendor to talk to you and um well let's let's talk again later on or tomorrow maybe
