well good morning Internet it's a beautiful sunny day here at Royal Clarence the French doors are a jar but I won't lie it's a bit chilly and I've had to put extra clothes on but I like are you sort of make a judgment call don't you about how much fresh air you need and how warm you need to be but a woman of a certain age Darlings a certain age we don't feel the cold as we did we once did now the other thing that I'd no longer feel as I once did is love and but however I'm a songwriter and I've written two love songs in fact I've been on a bit of a role writing love song love songs but what I was doing and up until this week was writing love songs for my book so the for my musical I said sci-fi Musical that I'm writing so up until now I've been you know writing those but I thought no I need to channel an 18 year old because it's the the youth that by records and as you know I'm not particularly interested in selling my records per se I want to sell the lyrics so I thought right it's time to write lyrics for a much younger audience and what I had to do because I'm 60 and jaded and I've been to relationship rehab and everything and now I'm I'm in sort of AAA but relation ra relationships anonymous um and I've become one of those self-righteous ex-smokers you know where where they think smoking's disgusting and I think relationships are disgusting but um you can't write a love song If you if you take that attitude can you so to appease the younger audience uh the demands of the the you know the recording industry Etc I've had to channel my 18 year old self now it wasn't difficult it's like riding a bicycle so you just imagine that you're 18 and you still think everything's you know you have things like a sexual Obsession you know where you just close your eyes and you dream that they're touching you and this sort of thing and then you get really um uh in wrapped enraptured by the possibility of of love and what what could happen if they I mean I don't know if you did this but I used to lie awake at night thinking about what would happen the next day at College when I went you know when I went into the smoking room and and there was John well no not Johnny was alive there was whoever he was I I completely forgotten who any of my crushes were from college I sort of remember vague faces but I'm damned if I can recall their names because their names were irrelevant oh that's my Romeo their names were irrelevant what was relevant was there um their sort of almost ghostly translucent being that I perceived them to be so I've been channeling that you have to come around the other side darling because mummy's recording as my Romeo and he might go out the French doors no you know he's going to come and jump over the microphone come on then um and uh I I then I got into sort of thinking about um how the anxiety of Love Takes you so hard into um
there we go I momentarily paused as as Romeo jumped over the microphone so the you know you know the anxiety of it when you yes Johnny you need to be quiet though when you're thinking about how they didn't look back at you and are they seeing someone else jealousy I suppose that's what I'm trying to say I I remembered jealousy see I I still am unable to truly oh here we go again there we go over the mic um to truly uh encapsulate the love before Jade feelings because even at 18 I was starting to get some sort of Suspicion when um you know I mean I've been cheated on many many times I think when you're a bit out there and I was a bit out there in my youth I had apologies Romeo's eating now his and his he's rattling on his ball I'm seeing if the microphone's picking that up I don't think it is um because you know when you're a little bit of a sort of minor celebrity in the village which I I find myself identifying with that persona people want to cheat on you other women want to take care of man and your man is only with you because of the sort of knock-on effect of being with somebody that appears to be better than they are this is the curse of infamy and over and over again I was uh people were being unfaithful to me and then of course when you were a minor celebrity in the village people come and people tell you people come and break it to you almost immediately because they want you to know they want you to suffer um and so so I've written a breakup song unbelievably I haven't broken up with anyone for about a decade and yet all those feelings still run through me and are very uh poignant so I've written a song about that and then oh another somebody else wants me what a day today's recording us but I've also written another song which was about the anxiety of it all because I've always been an anxious person and many years ago when I was about 18 but actually 16 17 maybe my doctor gave me slimming pills and antidepressants because I had a wonderful doctor at the time who just who would just give me pills for anything and it really was the start of um I suppose dealing with narcotics to kill pain but that's what we did in those days and you'll recall Valium in the 50s and 60s where they would hand them out and I can't remember what drug they gave me but it was it was banned a decade later because in the 80s I tried to get it they said no that was banned I don't know what why it was banned but it was banned anyway so I've written a breakup song and I've written a song about rock and roll and drugs um in relation to being in love um so there we go I I feel quite good about it I sort of feel like I'm young again um it's important I think to imagine what you're not because it can affect the mood in the morning so today I feel very young and vibrant um now I haven't talked about the my plan for the year not to buy anything but I I have to confess that I I've been to charity shops and I've been buying things and the reason was I've set up an eBay shop to sell so what I do is I buy things to sell on in the shop lovely designer things um and if they're really nice I keep them so I sort of circumnavigated my own rules about oh here he is again it's so annoying isn't it um I've circumnavigated the strict rules but I also thought well if I don't spend money in charity shops they're going to that's that's not fair because I like giving to charity and it's the small thing that I do so I did buy some wonderful wonderful Betty Jackson trousers to resell in my shop but I'm keeping them because they are the most stunning Black Velvet trousers that I have ever set Eyes Upon and I put them on and they turned me into a goddess and I can't possibly sell them but they will be sold at some point where when I get too fat for them or whatever whatever happens um so I'll do some photographs later for my blog and show you what I what I've managed to purchase this week tomorrow is the big dress up day so tomorrow is Big selfie day and showing you all the wonderful things that I bought that are going up into the 60 summer shop I love my 60 summer shop and now eBay Tech videos so I'm videoing the the items on my on my my dress dummies you know my tail of dummies and talking about them and it's such fun darling it's really really good fun and we have so such little pleasure and I'm you know I've come down from buying spending hundreds and thousands of pounds on designer clothes to you know a budget of you know a tenor a week all from charity shops and all with stuff that I can sell on um am I cheating you let me know let me know if I'm cheating if that you know this year of nothing really does mean that I can't keep any of the stock that I buy um and I apologize if I've let the side down but look I I've bought nothing else nothing else um only little things for you know for reselling honestly I promise you absolutely God's honest truth Darlings so that's about it for today I think I'm going to go off to the recruiting studio now and I'm going to record these two fabulous songs so look out for them and I I'm very aware that I haven't share shared with you either my latest single which was Renaissance but I will I will I will I will and also it's time to start making videos I think for all of these tracks it looks to me like when I make a video I get more listeners on YouTube so you know I've got to follow the the trends I suppose you know one has to otherwise what what will happen I will disappear Into Obscurity and at least this blog's free so perhaps not total obscurity because someone's listening oh and of course www dot tailtellerclub.com that's my blog see you there
